By Mike Aux-Tinee.
As of yesterday, 09-09-12, it’s been six months since my big break up. Up until then, I was involved in a very troubling and emotionally taxing relationship. As in all relationships, both parties need to benefit from it – equally. Of course, that’s in an ideal world, where things are always fair.
The relationship that I ended six months ago, started off like most. There was so much hope and excitement about what could be. I had never experienced anything like this before, so when I say it was different it really was.
Throughout this relationship, I invested a lot of time, resources and most of all, I invested something very precious, I opened my heart and allowed my emotions to be exposed. What I received in return for doing this was a broken heart, many sleepless nights, so much time and resources wasted pursuing (what I thought at the time) was something that was good!
What I discovered, was that this relationship I was involved in was not what it started out to be. And the longer I stayed in it, the more harm it caused.
It took me some time (to come to the conclusion) that it might be better to look at what I was involved in, weigh the pros and cons and let the numbers do the talking. Because if things were going bad now, then (and they very well could) be this way or even worse in the future.
But there is a problem. I hate to give up and throw in the towel. I like to be optimistic and hope things will be better tomorrow. So, I kept investing more of myself with the hope of things turning around. I should have just listened to my heart, relied on the numbers to make my decision and then just taken the shears and let it go…
Which is what I did on March 9th. I had enough of everything that I had experienced. It was better (maybe not in the short-term) for me to finally summon the courage and break it off once and for all.
What I did, was break up with using and being in debt. I worked for four and a half years to rid myself of this very inequitable and toxic relationship.
Being in debt, I constantly lived in fear. Fear of losing my job and not being able to pay my bills – of financial ruin. The job that I had to take was not right for me and I needed it just to pay my bills – instead of pursing something that was a better fit.
I feared, my future would not be as happy nor financially sound because more of my money was going to the bank to pay back what I borrowed (with interest) and not to my savings.
It’ a very sick feeling, to think that something you have done and continue to do is a mistake. After all, we have been told, that we are perfect that we are a winner in everything we do. Some bad advice that is! Because in life, more often than not, there is a winner and a loser.
My plan, to get out of debt, took me over four and a half years. It was a mental and some times a physical challenge to stick with it until the very end. I did stick with it and on March 9th, I wrote out my last check and became 100% debt free!
To get to that point, there were a lot of self-imposed rules. I would use cash not credit. I made significant cuts in spending: I did not eat out as much, I cut out buying things I did not really need (like new clothes) and I gave myself an allowance.
The end of the road is really not the end of the story. Since the date of my big break up with debt, I have stayed debt free the entire time. Spending has been kept down and I save more. I am much happier than I have been in a very long time. My weight has dropped and I sleep so much better!
Now that I am debt free, my life is much different. I am pursing a life that I was meant to live. One that is on my terms and does not involve so much uncertainty and fear. I now spend my time, working to create a life that is about having experiences and not the reckless accumulation of more things – which only brings more debt.
My life, as it is now is about being free to pursue personal interests, to make the most of my life and the time I have left. Now, unlike any other time in my life, I truly have the opportunity to be anything, go anywhere and experience all this world has to offer.
You can be debt free too! It will take some very hard work and a desire to life your life on your terms and not someone elses.
Over the last six months, I have spent my time, writing about what I did. It is my plan to have my book Islands of Happiness, out within the next 2-3 weeks. I will keep you updated on my progress. Because in it, I will show you exactly what I did and what you can do to also become debt free!